In 2010, on a borrowed computer in a college friend’s bedroom in Boston, I fell for my first videogame character. Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins was charming, funny, disarmingly oblivious, and hot. He had interesting thoughts about the world, tragedy and trauma to live with, and a vision of what the future should look like. He looked sexy in over-the-top pauldrons.
And like every one of my teenage crushes, he was straight.
Unlike in real life, I wasn’t limited to just nodding morosely and moving on — or like on one memorable occasion, sobbing passionately into my best-friend’s pillow — because the power of gay, internet horniness came to my rescue. Randy, technoliterate gaymers soon released mods turning the various romanceable NPCs in Dragon Age: Origins bisexual, including the himbo Grey Warden of my dreams. Finally, my hours of complimenting Alistair and offering him little presents would result in the much-desired gay sex scene. A win for my nineteen-year-old spank bank.